It's the small things...

  We have been in the throws of selling our house and buying a new house.  We have been so excited about and it for sure feel very blessed.  To start, a few months ago...well, for those of you who know me, I like to plan things out and I like them to go that way...I think God just smiles at me and says, “you will learn”!  

In my mind we would have put our house on the market in early April so that it would have time to sell and we could find a house well before Reese would start school.  Well, life happened and we just could not get it listed, I had been so frustrated for two months but finally two weeks before we listed it I had a light bulb moment where I said to God, “I’m crazy...it does not matter how cute the house is or how perfect, its not my house to sell....if You want it to sell it will...I give up trying.”  I really said that, and I meant it.

We listed the house the last Friday of May...it went into the MLS on Friday morning at 10:00 am, we had a call at noon saying people wanted to see it that afternoon, we had a call Saturday morning that people wanted to see it that afternoon...we had a contract on the house on Monday!  Dumbfounded...in awe...felt crazy that I had even thought it would sell because of anything I had done. I totally felt as if God was saying...”Lauren, step back, do your part but let me do mine.”  

We were so excited, but we did not have a house to move into, so we began to frantically look at everything there was...we looked and looked...NOTHING. (at least nothing we liked that we could afford).  Here it came again...that doubt that part inside of me trying to figure out what I could do to fix this...then the reminder to just let it go and trust.  Then, right as Jason was about to secure us an apartment to live in, a neighbor was over and said she had a friend who was about to sell her house and she thought we would love it, I had my doubts.  I WAS WRONG...we loved it...we put a contract on it!

We were amazed and  humbled seeing God’s hands wrapped around the whole thing...and knowing we don’t deserve it, we don’t deserve a house at all...we could only point to Him in the whole thing.  It was hard for me to swallow, knowing the things that people struggle with, knowing the heartaches that people have and the struggles my own family has gone through...all of this seemed so silly and us so undeserving...but then we serve a God who loves us and wants to show us that we don’t deserve it, but He wants to give us things.

I began packing the house...top to bottom...we were living like hoarders with boxes everywhere...but it was fine we were going to close in a week....then that week came and went...closing pushed back 3 days, 5 days, a week, two weeks!  I was coming apart...I was telling God that I did trust Him, that I did believe regardless of what happened that it was going to be the best for it...but trying to get my stress level to agree with what I was telling God was hard.  I would think back to 17 year ago, as my mom waited days, and weeks and months to find out what was wrong with my brother.  Then as we would all wait days and weeks over and over to find out results of tests and more tests.  Closing on a house is so small in the grand scheme of things...why is it sometimes easier for me to trust God with the big stuff...but not the small stuff?!

All that being said, we finally closed on our houses...and God’s timing was so much better than what we had planned.  Stressful, yes!  Ups and downs, yes!   Things are not perfect, but the reminder that they don’t need to be and that God is just begging us to do our part and then hand it over to Him and say whatever it is BIG or SMALL we trust you.  Jason reminds me that as we read through the Bible it is full of amazing people who did the same thing...doubted and God had to remind them to trust, there was even one of Jesus’ disciples who we call “doubting Thomas”.  I hope my name is heaven doesn't have "doubt" in front of it...but looking back over the past few months it might fit!

We are beyond grateful that all of this happened, not that we got the house, but that God got us to a point again where we realize what matters is to trust regardless...to live knowing He is in control of the Big and Small...struggles have always pushed me close to my Savior...as hard as it is to say...if that’s what I need...keep them coming!

A picture of the new house

 We moved in...and because we are crazy...we started demo the day we moved in...so here is a peak into a lot of craziness that is going on!  Hopefully updated pictures will come soon...

Our prayer through all of this is that we keep our focus on what is important...with the ups and downs having children was the best reminder.  As stressed and disappointed I was at times...knowing there are three precious girls watching how their mommy responds makes a difference.  So, each time our plans were turned upside down I would say, "Mommy is a little sad and mad that it is not going how I thought...but God says to trust Him and we know He loves us...right?"  They all agreed, so with each up and down I would ask them all to give me reason why it was good that we ...(could not move when we thought we should...and then again and again).  I think it helped me way more than them to hear their sweet hearts and positive thinking!